:: Womit ::

:: Friday, May 30, 2003 ::

These are the Frog Days of Summer

The part about giant poisonous centipedes, vipers, falling non-poisonous snakes from the trees, and other assorted jurassic sized bug-life always seems to be missing from the tourist brochures of Japan.

First: Rice fields are flooded.
Second: Frogs come out. They mate. This consists of screaming throughout the night in their croaky voices. Sleep becomes a task.
Third: (part a) Rice paddy water level recedes. Tadpoles appear. Mosquitoes breed.
Third: (part b) The beginning of the rainy season heralds the arrival of the centipedes and other giant insects, most of whom wish to reside in my house.
Fourth: (part a) Spiders and adult frogs take up residence on my front porch to eat the bugs that flock there. Daily cleaning of front porch begins.
Fourth: (part b) Battle with Centipedes begin.
Fifth: (part a) Non poisonous snakes conclude that there is a buffet on my porch and I must visually scope out the area before trying to enter my house.
Fifth (part b) Vipers live in rice paddies and while not taking residence up on my porch do like to lurk in the grassy area between the fields and the road. I spent most of my commute firmly in the middle of the street, equidistant from all viper hiding rice paddies.
Sixth: Giant cicada come out to liven the party up. The sad fact is that the cicada are bigger than most songbirds in Japan. And louder.
Seventh: I restock up on poison.
Sixth: The war continues until the cold snap in October.

Body Count for Battle of Centipedes: Stacey: Lots. Centipedes: 0. Most are found already dead due to layers of poison covering my floor. So far, one found alive in my sink while washing dishes, one found alive while crawling on my walls, one found alive when it dropped onto my computer from the ceiling and then proceeded to crawl into the keyboard and then exit through the cooling vent, and one found alive on my leg. When it crawled on me. (AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!) Those found alive are now very very very dead. Especially the one that was on my leg.

Note: Centipedes in Japan can grow up to a foot in length. The largest I've seen was as long as my forearm - that was the first one I saw. I thought a snake was in my house. I would have preferred a snake. Also centipedes are very poisonous and the bigger they are, the most dangerous their bite. Yeah! Danger! Whee!

This is the part I will not miss when I go home.


:: 10:02 PM [+] ::
...

This may hurt a little but its something you get used...

It's time for another Stacey-gripe fest courtesy of angst-ing conditions and having to leave the home she's loved and loved for two years running. I've had to do the pick up and leave thing many times; moving to Ohio, Manchester study abroad, back to the US, then off to Japan. It never gets easier. But strangely enough, leaving Troy has never been an issue. I could analyze why that is but I won't bother. Suffice it to say, my hometown is a base and leaving it isn't much of a bother since I know I'll always come back.

Funo on the other hand...

I've been trying to focus on the bad points of Japan but that's just driving me into some strange Smeagol/Gollum type mental conversations.

Stacey: Japan is so lovely!
Ebil Stacey: It's being paved over by the Consssstruction Ministry.
S: But not Funo. Look at the greenery -
ES: Foliage that hidezzzzz the poisonouzzzzz creaturezzzz of the country ssssside....
S: Hear the birds in the morning and the children going to school. It's lovely.
ES: Until one ssstepzzzz on a foot-long sssssentipede?
S: Eh. I'm used to those now.
ES: Viperzzzzz?
S: Okay. Got me there. I hate Japan.
ES: Yesssss.
S: Oh, look at the wind rustle the rice plants! And I'll never see it again (sobs)
ES: o_O (sobs too)

And no one understands. My buds who are staying think I'm crazy to leave, my family gets hurt if I mention that I don't want to leave (don't I love them? of course.), the friends who are leaving think I'm crazy to want to stay, and my friends in the States are subtley getting the hell on with their lives and wondering when I'm going to catch up...

Me?

I'll keep digging till I feel something...
:: 3:46 AM [+] ::
...

No thanks.

I like my hostility. I am going to keep it.
:: 9:26 PM [+] ::
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Grow the hell up, America.

Maybe I`m sick of the national mood of my country because it resembles the antics of my adolescent, hormonal students. Or maybe it`s because my tolerance for stupidity is zero.

I will be the first to laugh at a good French-bashing joke - but it`s not because I`m patriotic. Hell no. It`s because I have an inappropriate sense of humor and think torturing Sanji is amusing. But people who say it is patriotic to destroy another country`s economy should be sterilized. Oh, is that harsh? Well pardon moi and kiss my french fries.

================================

"French gunpowder," said Antoinne Lavoisier in 1789, "has become the
best in Europe....One can say with truth that to it North America owes
its liberty."

And that was only the beginnings of our long yet at times strained
relationship with France, a country which suddenly is the plague to
American war hawks of the New Millenium. A francophile I am not. But credit
must be given and balance assured in the battle for malleable American
minds.

I have compiled a lengthy list of contributions to America and the
world of the French people and government:

1)The Statue of Liberty by the sculptor Bartholdi

2)Cartographic advances as illustrated in the Maps of Exploration by
Lewis and Clark

3)The fastest operating trains and airplanes in the world

4)Cajun food

5)France was the first country to recognize the independence of the
Republic of Texas in 1839

6)Discovery of the AIDS virus (http://www.aegis.com/news/sc/1989/SC891202.html)

7)The French American Charitable Trust(FACT) is a family foundation
that provides funding to organizations that address fundamental
inequalities and injustices in our society (http://www.factservices.org/pdfs/us_guides.pdf)

8)Tube pressure gauge by Eugene Bourdon

9)Braille printing by Louis Braille

10)The altimeter and high-pressure barometer by Louis Paul Cailletet

11)Pencils by Nicolas Conte

12)The diesel engine by Rudolph Diesel

13)Scuba equipment by French explorers, Emile Gagnan and Jacques
Cousteau

14)The daguerreotype process by Louis-Jacques-Mand

15)The Eiffel Tower which was built by Gustave Eiffel in honor of the
100th anniversary of the French Revolution

16)The first seaplane by Henri Fabre

17)Jean Foucault's gyroscope

18)Stethoscopes

19)French scientist, Blaise Pascal, has been credited with inventing
the very first digital calculator

20) Louis Pasteur not only perfected pasteurization, but also
discovered the germ theory of disease

21)Gaspard de Prony was the famous mathematician and French inventor
who invented the Prony brake or dynamometer

22)The bikini was an invention of Jacques Heim and Louis Reard, and the
name was derived from the atomic-bomb atoll in the South Pacific

23)Parachutes, used so deftly in Northern Iraq in the latest agression
for freedom, were the invention of Louis Sebastien

24)The first functional sewing machine was the work of French inventor
and tailor Barthelemy Thimonnier

25)French cuisine

26)Oh, and those philosophers who inspired our War of Independence and
search for freedom thereafter: Jean Jacques Rousseau, Baron de
Montesquieu, Diderot of encyclopedia fame, Antoine Arnauld and his The Art of
Thinking, Auguste Compte, Rene Descartes(the father of modern
philosophy), Michel Foucault, Nicholas Malebranche of Cartesianism fame, Michel
Eyquem de Montaigne, Blaise Pascal, Jean-Paul Sartre, Voltaire

27)NASA is indebted to Johannes Kepler, remembered for discovering the
three laws of planetary motion

28) Are these the words of a traitor?

"Humanity has won its battle.
Liberty now has a country."
-Lafayette

29)And why is Alexis de Tocqueville's tribute to America, "Democracy in
America," as inspiring today as it was of yore to educators and
American lovers alike?

Let's examine those distorted, half-truth war statistics presented in
this grave message---

30)French suffered 1.3 million soldiers dead(over 6,000,000 in total)
in WW I; while Americans suffered a paltry 126,000(364,000 in total)

31)World War II was every bit as bad for the French; 340,000
soldiers(810,000 in total) perished, while the Americans lost a paltry 295,000
soldiers.

32)For acts of French bravery, I refer you to
http://members.tripod.com/Gary13_Shively/BKbrav.htm . Unlike some
dimwits would have you believe, the French are not cowards!

33)For a clearer understanding of the depth of French-American
friendship which is now being undermined by irrational bigotry, review the
speech of the French Embassy shortly after 911. Go to
http://www.info-france-usa.org/news/statmnts/2001/bujon151101.asp. Pay
special attention to the last paragraph.

******************************************************************************

Epilogue: Let it never be shouted or whispered again that the French
are turncoats. They are a sovereign people who support every basic
premise of democracy which we purport. They have sacrificed much, much more
for their freedom than we ever will. They have brought us art, science,
philosophy, freedom and democracy. They have stood by our side in a
every major conflict in the Twentieth Century, including the recent one in
Iraq, until the final, unilateral actions of the U.S. preceding that
engagement. If the French have an aversion to war and death, it is only
because they know the hell of it first-hand on their bloodied soil.

This does not mean that the French are without fault. They can be
haughty and flipant, just like Americans. They can reject ideas and plans
simply to show their "Frenchness," as do the American flag-wavers.

But they are most definitely our friends, overall, and have contributed
bountiously to the enlightenment of mankind. Stop blindly listening to
the merchants of death who tell us to hate and draw unnecessary lines
in the sand.

Richard Posner

Tokyo, Japan

========================

In conclusion: Do I think the French are flawless? No. Do I think they`ve never nor will never do anything wrong? No. Do I think most politicians are evil, including French ones? Yes. Do I think that the common citizens of the US and the common citizens of France should listen to their politicians as they backbite one another over this and that? No.

Politicians suck. Free your mind and remember to make bad jokes based on personal unreasoning prejudice and not because your country tells you to.
:: 11:07 PM [+] ::
...

Jolly good, wot! Anyone for tennis? That'll be ten ponies, guv. You're the epitome of everything that is english. Yey :) Hoist that Union Jack!

How British are you?

this quiz was made by alanna

Apparently you can be British if you spend a year in the country, have a weakness for PBS (Are you being served? anyone) and/or BBC productions with Colin Firth. Or Coronation Street. *snerk* Maybe this is a testament to my ability to blend into any setting! I am SO spy material.

Chou, you brought up an interesting point. The army drills yelling in a person too - we count cadence and whatnot while running to build up our lung capacity. I mean what other point is there for running two miles singing at the top of your lungs. You certainly wouldn`t do that in the middle of a war. :) Plus Master Chung is Korean and he would say during class that only ninjas are silent. Yup, being called a ninja was definitely not a compliment. The Koreans love the Japanese. Not.
:: 6:11 PM [+] ::
...

Ugh. I had forgotten about my interesting night activities... I can't help that I dream what I dream and then I end up acting it out. Talk about embarrassing though. I've frightened not one but two bedfellows in the past two weeks. The first time I was dreaming about running into an attempted kidnapping and while my friends went to find the police, I worked on dealing out my own special brand of justice on the kidnapper's ass. Apparently I was really kicking the crap out of the mattress and my pillow and the blankets. My friend woke me up for fear I would move on to her.

Then this weekend I was crashing with a few others on a friend's floor and well, look, when I was learning TKD Master Chung got on everyone's case for being quiet while we fight. So I've had yelling while fighting drilled into my brain - and my subconscious as well. So when I fight in my dreams...

Can you say totally embarrassing? (crawls into a corner and dies)
:: 10:20 AM [+] ::
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The repeal of the foreign income exclusion tax was tabled. THANK GOD. Congress is full of morons. I can`t wait to dissolve it when I become ruler of the known universe.
:: 12:32 AM [+] ::
...

Yesterday my JTE was spoken to about our classes being so noisy. I feel bad for Fujikawa because he`s Japanese and the one who has to deal with the bureaucracy but I can`t say that I feel guilty about inciting a riot. Not in the slightest. I want those kids to buck the system as much as possible. I have hated watching the noise level decrease in each class as they get older, as the teachers beat the life out of them with rote exercises and rules. I want my kids to have fun - not prescribed paramilitary fun like voluntary/required after school activities and club, but honest to goodness, unscheduled, purpose-less, spontaneous fun.

I want my kids to be like my girls that I took on the homestay. They were so hyper and excited and like regular teenagers in America. Then once we walked down the ramp off the plane and into the airport, it was like a dropcloth was thrown over their personalities and they were all back to `normal.` I hated that so much. I`d seen more of who they were really in those two weeks in the States than I ever had in Japan.

Tatamae really gets me sometimes. It`s not healthy walking around with a submerged personality. Sometimes Japan seems so repressed. Yes, it`s nice that everyone is nice to one another and there are a few things to be said about a culture of conformity as it lends itself to less clashes of personality, both mental and physical. There isn`t a siege mentality directed against one`s citizens (though foreign countries are another topic entirely). But so much is given up for the status quo, to keep the waters still.

I`ve been lucky living in the country. When I speak of how wonderful my town is to other Japanese who don`t live here, they say that my town is an exception rather than a rule. I believe them and it makes me sad. I know that the stress that my students live under is nothing to compared to what students experience in other cities. My school has its share of "gaman and ganbaremasu" but we also have a lot of fun. I think it`s because we`re so far away from the authorities that we can get away with things most people never dream of.

I don`t want my kids to be soldiers - I want them to be rebels. Like me. ^_^ That`s right. Onizuka-sensee and I have the same teaching philosophy; we shape young minds so that there will be little versions of us in charge of the future of our countries. And amen to that.

On another note, how did the batsu exercise of singing the ABC song turn into Seiji-kun serenading the class with "Hikari E"? Not that I`m complaining of course. There can never been too much One Piece in English class.
:: 11:15 PM [+] ::
...

You're a Centaur - A bit agressive, but you'll
always fight for justice.


What kind of a mystical horse are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

:: 5:57 AM [+] ::
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I eye them covetously and say, "Aren't they precious?" Skippy, my darling brother, would you care to voice an opinion on which one I should purchase? The assassin's tool or the everyday killing club? The choices, the choices...

And for all those Good Omens fans (all one of them), here's a link to an especially hilarious non-slashy (well, not so far) crossover. Dead on characterization. See Adam Young at Hogwarts! Watch Crowley teach Defense against the Dark Arts!

Guess he would know, eh?
:: 5:59 AM [+] ::
...

You wanna know the latest junior high trend in Japan, I`m your girl. What`s going on in the US? No fraggin clue. I am dying here. Help!

I`m making a style board for the kids here because they`re always buggin me about what`s cool back Stateside. I can clue them in on spooky girl culture but beyond that, I`m in the dark (and drinking absinthe. ;) ) I was trying to come up with `style` and this is what I have so far.

Prep: I was going to use GAP and Abercrombie and "Get individuality, you lazy suburbia sheep" Fitch ads.
Goth: Easily covered. Goths LOVE taking pictures of themselves, especially, it seems if they are girls who haven`t eaten, seen the sun, and wear wear too much black eyeliner.
Emo/Punk: It`s a board for junior high kids and I don`t know enough Japanese to detail the slight differences between the two, so they are staying together. Once again, easy enough to find punk kids who like slapping pics of themselves online. I`m covered.
Hip-Hop/Thug: It`s been surprisingly hard to find pictures of regular teen wannabe hip-hoppers. I think it`s because emo and goths have no lives and try to make up for it by bonding with electronics. Hip hop kids need money for their crack habits so they either too busy selling drugs to learn how to program HTML or just plain sold their computer to buy the shite. (JOKE.)
Normal People: IE not a trend whore, buys clothes at target, wal-mart, meijer, etc. Pictures of `normal` people are also hard to find. I would use my own family photos but we`re hardly normal.

Options:
Surf/skater/I shop at Pacific Sun - is this a subculture/style/what have you?
Redneck - Perhaps this is more a philosophy than a style.

If you have trends that I am wholly unaware of, please post them. If you have pictures of friends you`d like to embarrass send those to me.
:: 10:22 PM [+] ::
...

Every week the kids write me questions and I have to answer them in front of the class. This week one of the girls wrote "Why are you going back to America?"

Shit.

Why am I going back? My head knows why, but my guts are saying IYA DA! IKITAKUNAI! Yes. My guts are speaking to me in Japanese.

It doesn`t help that I`ve made a really good new friend recently who keeps asking me the same question. It doesn`t help that I am returning to the anime wasteland that is NA. It doesn`t help that I love my job, my house, my co-workers, my village, and the way the sun burns the mist off the mountain in the morning. It doesn`t help at all.

On a lighter note, I wish spam would be gender specific because I am sick of getting things in my inbox about penile implants.
:: 11:54 PM [+] ::
...

I am in a piss poor mood. There is no chance for a vacation. Not now. My eikaiwa starts soon and that's every Tuesday night for eight weeks. Bye Bye vacation time. To say that I am pissed off is not saying enough.

How does one alleviate rage? By buying an instrument of death. Bye Bye vacation, hello Hawaiian assassin tool of doom.
:: 5:11 AM [+] ::
...