:: Womit ::

:: Friday, November 29, 2002 ::

I have my new 'Stacey in Japan' website up. Check out the links for it - it's Stacey in Japan.
:: 5:55 AM [+] ::
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Oh April-swan! Guess what I got? Sheet music to a wonderful little ditty called `The Sunlit Garden!` And also Adessa e Fortune from Record of the Lodoss War AND a little thesis by that oh so cruel angel! The last one is full of flats - so it`s gonna be a long time gone before I figure out that one, but the others aren`t so bad. Got any requests? I can`t be at the wedding - but I could play at your five year anniversary...(the Sunlit Garden plays faintly in the background...)

I started kendo this week. When I told my dad, he laughed out loud. "You mean the one with the catcher`s mask and the bamboo swords?" He also mentioned a movie that Michael Douglas is in - anyone know of it? In any case, that`s what I`m doing - kendo; the sport o` the samurai.

And we are training the samurai way - barefeet on a wooden floor in an unheated gym. The current class consists of me, Ben (Kimita`s AET), and ten rugrats from the age of 7 to 12. And the munchkins are kicking are bums - beating us around the legs with their shinais (bamboo swords). If you don`t think that a bamboo sword would hurt, just know that you can break bones and if you give em a good crack on the head, you can kill them. So don`t knock my bamboo sword!

Moving on. The dress of the kendo warrior princess involves a heavy jacket that is similar to a tae kwon do or karate jacket, though its weight is more comparable to a judo one. The jacket is dark blue. We also wear a pant skirt. It`s very hard to describe - um, maybe really long culottes? Those too are dark blue. We wear protective chest guards (armor!) and the `catcher`s mask`. The mask has long pieces on the sides that curl up a bit to cover and protect the side of the neck and the collarbone (remember - wooden swords = broken bones!). Finally we have hand gloves that are thick to protect our wrists.

In a match, you get points by striking the head, the wrist or the opponents side under the ribs. Points only count if you make contact with the end of your sword (about six inches from the top.) I don`t think points count if you use the very, very tip top of the sword, since I was getting admonished for continuously doing that. I also don`t keep my sword down in the right position, but since I`ve only had one lesson, I know I will have plenty to improve upon.

Near the end of class we were allowed to properly spar with an instructor - if spar is the word I want to use... It was similar to sparring with Master Chung during tae kwon do and that was merely a continual reminder of how much I sucked, while my instructor beat the ever lovin` stuffing out of me without breaking a sweat. This was only slightly less embarassing.

Yet I got a little tingly feeling when I was bearing down on my opponent with my shinai raised high. And there is something melodious in the sound of bamboo on bamboo. THWACK! :P

I`ll keep updating everyone on how kendo goes.
:: 9:08 PM [+] ::
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I love Terry Pratchett`s Jingo. Now I know where he got the main plot.
:: 11:16 PM [+] ::
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I was in a really, really good mood and then I called a friend and it was over like - WHOOSH. Bye bye good mood. Hello pissed off city.

But I am not going to write about how pissed off I have become in the short space of thirty minutes. I am going to write about all the cool stuff that happened before that.

Yesterday - The Second Annual Funo Village Thanksgiving! YEAH! And this year, thanks to the intrepid-ness of Jen, we secured a real life, dead turkey for the festivities. Oh the Battle of the Turkey is a long and harrowing tale. I have never attempted to wrestle a dead bird carcass into submission - that was always mummy's job. I made the stuffing.

But when you become an adult (stop laughing), you must do away with childish things and start making a turkey on your own. Luckily it came with directions, unluckily would could not figure out where the bag of giblets was located in the turkey. We made a command decision and decided that we would just be surprised when we cut the turkey open later.

But get this - we had potatoes and cranberry sauce and stuffing and green bean casserole and cornbread and sweet potatoes and apple crisp and rolls and vegetarian gravy and regular gravy and cabbage rolls and cake and donuts and beer (because some people take you at your word when you say "Bring whatever.")

I don't know about other people but when everyone leaves a party and says they are happy and full and that they had a great time - well, I'll just glow for hours and hours and hours.

There's more - after this Thanksgiving fiesta a few of us decided to go to the city to continue the celebration and help other JETs celebrate their birthday. I saw so many people I haven't seen in ages! Cindy, Irish Chris, Trevor, the sumo people (right so it was only a week for them, but still!), and a billion other random people. Lowlight of the evening - random guy hitting on me and trying to impress me with his knowledge of American baseball. Baby, honey, sweetheart - do NOT open up a conversation with me by saying that you like the Yankees. And do NOT try and 'redeem' yourself by saying you respect Omar, but A Rod must be better because he won the Golden Glove. That is such a deal-breaker.

My scheme to get all men in the area to look at my chest succeeded beyond my wildest dreams - girls, get yourself a goonies T-shirt with Chunk on it. That's all it takes. Then the entire evening will be devoted to how cool Goonies is, where is Corey Feldman now, and what is the philosophical meaning behind "I smell ice cream."

Guy - JET, twenty-something, British, tall, dark, hottie. Hmm, played THIS tune before. Perhaps I should change the record? NAH!

But because I honor the committments of others, I graciously went to Jamaicas and hung out with Leon "I do not dance" Malroney. It was fun. I made it home at 3:30 in the morning.

MISTAKE! Because at 8:00 I had to be up and ready for a full day of taiko. We drove to Okayama-ken and played a festival. It was a full day. Well, I kinda forgot about this full day and ended up forgoing things like washing my hair and eating breakfast because I thought this was a normal taiko day where I go out and am back by 12:00. Oh no. But we opened to a full house and the applause almost never died while we were on stage. It was awesome. I'm used to playing to the demi-interested, sake-full festival crowds - this was in a proper auditorium in front of an attentive audience. It was great. I can see how the stage might become addicting.

And now after remembering all that, I am a little less pissed. I must not let the stupidity of others ruin my fun. Ganbatte me!
:: 7:45 AM [+] ::
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Oh well now I`m not only battle-weary and jaded but I am also depressed. I am going to miss the Hell City Tattoo Fest in Columbus. It`s next year in June - when I`m still in Japan. How come all the cool fiestas and cons and whatnot are in the summer when I am not in America? Why? WHY?

Settle down, says a voice. You`re in Japan getting paid obscene amounts of money to play with children.

Yeah! Children that frighten Chucky! I should be getting hazard pay too!

Well, I`ll just have to make myself feel all better by writing about tattoos in One Piece and putting it up on the website. Nemeth - you insinuated your gypsy-lovin` Chinese taking-out, pierced post modern philosophy into my subconscious and I will never get it out. Kuso arigatou yo.
:: 11:16 PM [+] ::
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You want to know a sure-fire to tell that it`s Friday? I`ve collapsed at my desk too tired to even move the keyboard so the spacebar key becomes imprinted in my forehead.

I tell a lie. That`s only a sure-fire way to know that it`s Friday and I`m teaching at the elementary school - natch, the second graders to be exact.

As April found it, it`s ominous when the cutest little button of a kid, all decked out in her uniform with pigtails and just the portrait of `kawaii` comes into the teacher`s lounge humming Darth Vader`s theme.

Yup, I taught another class with the ni-nen-see. Another hatch mark on my grading pencil to say that `I survived.`

It`s sad when the teachers all look at you when you walk out the door and say - The battle begins. In English. Because that`s what you always mutter to yourself before you walk out of the door. And it`s just as sad that instead of saying `Otsukaresama` when you return, they say - the battle is over. And they don`t laugh or smile. It`s said in all serious-ness, because they too have had to teach the second graders - and that is a rite of passage.

Physical collapse is what occurs when you are a battle weary elementary veteran. Just another eight months of the second graders... pray for me.
:: 11:00 PM [+] ::
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Yes, Craig, the idea of a sumo `groupie` is very disturbing.

This however is even more disturbing - sumo `gropie.`
:: 9:27 PM [+] ::
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Well, now that the fangrrl screaming is finished, I think I can post properly.

This weekend I went to see the big ole sumo tournament in Fukuoka. It is one of the six tournaments held throughout Japan each year. Hiroshima JETs always go to this bash - for the novelty, for the fact that it`s not in Hiroshima, in order to go to decent clubs, etc. Oh and to "watch sumo."

The Brits likened watching sumo to watching cricket - in other words, spectators sit around, talk, drink beer, eat bad food, and every once in a while glance up and go `What? What`d I miss?`

The sumo tournament was held at a large indoor stadium, but it looks bigger on TV. Even though we were in BFE/gaijin seating, I could see the sumo wrestlers very well. In fact, we only had to return to our seats when the big names were getting into the ring. At the beginning of the tournament, when the amateurs and newbies were competing, we were sitting on the mats right at the foot of the ring. It was very cool and we were always in imminent danger of being squashed by a flying sumo wrestler.

Another interesting thing at the sumo tournament is that you can wander around underneath the bleachers and casually hold conversations with fellow JETs while walking by stretching sumo wrestlers. This is the equivalent of going out on the field during warm-up while Omar Vizquel is doing sprints or Travis Fryman is just standing around being the hottie that he is. But unlike a baseball warm up, where I would have to exercise great will power to keep myself from jumping on the players, sumo wrestling warm up involves giant sweating grunting men in mawashi (loin clothes) lifting their legs above their head. This is an impressive sight, but in no way is it an attractive one.

Well, during one of these wandering around sessions, we managed to con a security guard into bringing out none other than AKEBONO! And he stood with us and we got our picture taken with him. Is that not the coolest?!

We watched sumo when we weren`t stalking celebrities. Sumo is very enjoyable when everyone is passing around a bottle of Jose Cuervo. I received a lesson from Rob (English - haven`t I played this tune before? :) ) about sumo in general and us ken JETs sat around cheering for every wrestler from Hiroshima. We also started placing bets and talking about what color our loincloth would be if we were sumo wrestlers.

Sumo ended and we got down to the dirty business of partying - some of us did anyway. I had to bow out due to the heinous cold I had acquired. Plus I wanted to have a sober head when I hit Mandarake the next day (awesome used anime store...it owns my first born child now, but hell! I have an original Nami statue!) The bars that everyone else went to were called the `Happy Cock` and something else...the `Hairy Cock?` Just kidding about that last one - but yes, the bars have `cock` in their name. Very classy joints these places.

Okay = I am fighting the Japanese cold of death right now, so I am signing out.
:: 10:32 PM [+] ::
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I SAW MUSAHIMARU!

NO MY FRIENDS THERE IS MORE!

I GOT MY PICTURE TAKEN WITH _MUSASHIMARU_!

:.runs around screaming and rubbing it in all the other poor JETs faces.:

MUWAHAHAHAHAHA!

:: 1:03 AM [+] ::
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Kenichi Nakamura - did you know that`s a swear word in Funo?

Kenichi Nakamura is a local celebrity. He lived during the late 1800s and wrote tanka poetry, which is a variation of the haiku. It`s longer and harder to write from what I understand.

So why has he earned the ire of the entire village office? Well it`s some important anniversary this year and the village gets to pull out all the stops and celebrate his unending contribution to Japanese literature. His house (our village`s museum, oh yeah, we got a museum here (open by appointment only)) is getting a serious cleaning by the o-baasans. The village office gets the joyful task of going through every single historical document, artifact, picture, etc. and cataloguing it all and then choosing the outstanding pieces and making a collection of it. The students get to study his poetry - a surefire way to make a kid hate literature.

And everywhere I go I hear Kenichi Nakamura`s name spoken with venomous hatred. Especially by Abe-san who has the delightful task of translating all his poetry into modern language. She hates it because she didn`t do so well on kanji in college and his stuff uses really old-style kanji that hasn`t been written in fifty years.

So that`s what is going on in Village Funo.

:: 9:48 PM [+] ::
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Yesterday was Australia Day. I taught important Australian things and played a tape of my friend Roz and her OUTRAGEOUS Australian accent. Okay, it`s not so outrageous, I just like saying that. It was fun.

Then I brought out the Veggiemite. Oh, the evil! How could I? The faces were delightful - I would have got some on film but as soon as I raised up the camera, all the kids would smile and do peace signs. As soon as I put it down, their faces would screw up like a wizened monkey sucking on a lemon.

Tomorrow I get to see sumo. Oh, the excitement as two mountains of flesh throw themselves at each other in a battle of supremacy! Who will win? Who will be thrown out of the ring, crushing spectators and judges alike? Who will be crowned `Champion Flesh Mountain of Nippon?` There can be only one!
:: 7:45 PM [+] ::
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I HAVE A PLUSH KIKI!

:poing:

AND YOU DO NOT.

:poing:

FERRET SHOCK!
:: 2:00 AM [+] ::
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YEAH! This week is sumo!

Thursday is Australia Day - the day where I give veggiemite to the kiddies. OH I AM EVIL!

:: 8:59 PM [+] ::
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Inquiring minds want to know...

WHAT CRACK ARE YOU SMOKING!

And I reply - the best kind.

Blade II: Did anyone notice when Scud offered Blade a toke, Blade said 'Later"? That is because Blade is da man. What other super-hero would be say that? No wonder Blade had less angst this time around - dude was flyin'!

Speaking of toking, as my brother so graciously pointed out, Hobbiton is so frickin' happy because everyone there was smokin' weed! Yes they were! Gandalf and Bilbo shared a toke on-screen my friends! I didn't believe it either until my brother quoted this line from Saruman - "Gandalf, the hobbit's weed has gone to your brain." Yuppers - it makes sense why all the hobbits are short and stunted; the continuing generational effects of continued marijuana use! Why Sauron didn't commence with the takeover of Hobbiton is anyone's guess. It would have been the first on my list of 'Places to Conquer in Middle-Earth.My rallying cry: ' First the weed and then the world! Muwahahahaha!'

This illegal substance filled topic has been brought to you by

Why Will You Go To Hell?
brought to you by Quizilla

A quiz which is flawed because I have never played an RPG, especially not an online one.
:: 2:47 AM [+] ::
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Currently stuck in my head -
`Can`t get you out of my blue monday` Kylie Minogue vs. New Order remix

I could do work, but who wants to do that? Not me.


Just stuffed full of surprises. No one ever knows what you're going to do next. The greatest mystery to you is, naturally, "how do they get the caramel in the Caramilk bars?"



Click here to take the quiz!




Which Donnie Darko character are you? by Shay

And yet I am NOT Bun Bun - his cousin perhaps? We will never know.

run run run...


:: 11:39 PM [+] ::
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I have decided to start a new political party called - The Random Militant Slashers.

Much much worse than being a liberal commie hippie, Dad. Much, much, worse...muwahahahahahahaha!
:: 8:48 PM [+] ::
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Oh, I forgot to mention that I got up so late this morning that I couldn`t wash my hair and now I feel gross, but that I will be alright because I am wearing my brand new cloud covered bra. Yesterday I wore my pirate one. I felt very cool and evil. Today I feel floaty and cloud-like.

I noticed I have lots of death-head things in my house. This is not because of OP though. It is because deathheads and poison symbols are very trendy right now. Anyway, my list of stuff with giant skulls and crossbones on it are -
a cup
my alarm clock
a lighter
my book bag
my bra

I have this urge to get a tattoo of it as well, but I won`t. I already have my next tattoo picked out {NEXT???? screeches my father} It is kanji (kiss my ass, I am doing it because I LIVE in Japan so bite me.) and the kanji means much to me. And unlike some idiots, I actually know what it means and all of its nuances instead of going - huhuhuh, kewl, pretty lines...huhuhuh.
:: 8:41 PM [+] ::
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If I were in the Butlerian Jihad I would be...

A GIANT SANDWORM!

Because let`s face it. They are the only cool things right now. And they don`t emote. Can`t have emoting in Dune. Just isn`t right.
:: 8:36 PM [+] ::
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WOOH! Well all I can say is getting sick in Japan blows goats. That`s my excuse for not posting. That and I had no internet at my house because I couldn`t read the damn bill. Stupid japanese kanji.

Figured I would post so that everyone knows I`m in the land of the undead again. I should be writing my article for the village newspaper but who wants to do that?


:: 11:21 PM [+] ::
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