Let me begin by saying I have two tanukis and you have none. I am sorry for you.
I am going to Korea and Vietnam. If I get my way, I`m going to the DMZ. If I get my way, I will visit Hotel Hanoi. If I get my way, I will visit the Tae Kwon Do World Federation Building.
No, I think I am crazy, as opposed to anything else.
You know, the best test I have taken wasn`t even a test, it was that Evil Plan(tm) maker. When you know you`re gonna destroy the moon (ooh, tides!) and bring about an end to insaity with a plague of doom, after seducing the Pope, everything else is trivial.
:: 11:55 PM
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I finally did it. I saw Lord of the Rings. And it was amazing. I imagine that I am probably the last person on the planet to see it, excluding the troop of Japanese people in the theatre I was in. Though they were probably seeing it for their second time.
Here is a dissection of the movie:
When Sauron was laying waste about him with his broadsword and then exploded; whoa, he knocked everyone flat. That was amazing.
Oh, the Shire. I was grinning like a fool when they showed the Shire. It was perfect; exactly how I imagined it. And from that moment on, I was sucked in...
I realize that I could go on and on about insignificant detail, so I won`t. Though when Legolas knife-fighting the orcs in Moria, I was highly impressed. Oh, and when he was walking on the snow while everyone else was laboring to get through...hehehe, that was funny. The hobbits were perfect. Sean Astin IS Samwise and Merry and Pippin were hilarious. I didn`t think the Nine Riders should have been so screechy; wouldn`t it be scarier if they were absolutely silent?
The characterization was amazing. I didn`t mind Arwen`s enhanced part, though some complain that it wasn`t true to the book. It makes Aragorn a more sympathetic character and leads up to what might be an internal struggle when he hits the Horse Lords kingdom.
Moria...Moria was stunning. The Balrog was...whoa...and when the orcs swarmed...whew...in fact, the orcs taking fiery pot shots at our heroes reminded me of Baldur`s Gate. And when the poor little hobbits had their innocence ripped away, I felt so bad for them. I knew what was going to happen and I was still upset. That`s how cool the movie is. I felt emotion.
And when Frodo tried to give Galadriel the ring; man, I never realized how scary she was from the book.
Only bad point: Frodo`s `I`m not dead, but darn that hurt,` scene.
All in all; I don`t have enough thumbs to give the appropriate `thumbs up` award to this movie. It was as true to the book as can be imagined, visually stunning, the actors picked for the characters were perfect, and it caused me to emote. This is an excellent film. I can`t wait for the second one.
:: 12:27 AM
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:: Friday, April 19, 2002 ::
Whole Brain Dominant leaning to the right You like flexible structure. You use your deep insight and logic to solve problems. You enjoy experiencing many new things. You have at least one area of expertice that allows you to demonstrate your creativity.
Mumsy sent me SWEDISH FISH! I almost ate them all in one go. It reminded me of my senior year in college when Anne and I would go down to Kroger`s and go to the pic and mix candy section and then eat candy while watching a movie until we almost puked. That was the way to do things. I went to the new pic and mix in Hiroshima and I almost cried because there were NO SWEDISH FISH! How in the name of the candy gods can a pic and mix exist without swedish fish? What is the world coming to? I was shocked and appalled.
Speaking of Hiroshima, I am going this weekend to buy hiking boots so that my tootsies will be oh so comfy while I am trekking through the hills of Vietnam. I am the original intrepid explorer.
Random thoughts: The Contender is good and I want to be just like her. No, not Laine. I want to be like the FBI agent, Wilhemina. She rocked. I saw Con Air again. Any movie with both John Malkovich and Steve Buscemi is a good movie. Even if the plot is stupid and the dialogue is dumb. Oh and John Cusack makes any movie good. Just remember, DEA is bad! Marshals are good! Go Marshals!
I was wondering; if the Palestinians want the moral high ground, why don`t they protest peacefully? You know, just sit in the streets and refuse to move. They wouldn`t hurt anyone and everyone would have to take them seriously. I wish everyone would do that; the IRA, the ETA, the FARC. It would be amazing the kind of support they would receive from the rest of the world. There is no way their governments could ignore them then and the UN and the US would have to
I was discussing with my brother Bush`s foreign policy. We decided that if we were in charge, instead of telling everyone stuff that would piss them off, we would just do it and not tell anyone. So we`re going to build a new missile system; not going to tell anyone. Going to bomb the crap out of some country (iraq, cough, cough), well, why warn them so they can prepare? Why not just do it? Who`s gonna stop you, Bush? I mean, if he`s gonna play the hard-ass loner, he should darn well stick to his guns and do it right. Instead of pussy-footing around and kinda annoying people, why not seriously torque the world off? That`s what I`m saying. Either do it or don`t.
:: 10:34 PM
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I offer my time as a sacrifice to the blog. Neil Gaiman, in his book American Gods, put forth the idea that sacrificing time is a kind of worship and therefore there are gods of computers. Blood sacrifice is reserved for cars and highways are the new altars of our times, as lives are offered up to the gods of transportation. Yet the land always wins in the end. It`s nice to think of America as `god-less` as in unsustainable for gods to live in, because the land is what is all-powerful. I believe that. Ever since I saw the red clay of Oklahoma and saw how the waters turn red when it rains there, I realized that dirt is a powerful thing. `Dust to dust`, after all. I love my country; it`s funny that a expatriate from the Old Land managed to put into words what I feel in my gut.
I really am not a big fan of Anne Rice, but I have managed to read almost all of her books. How is that? I think I am searching for what makes the things so successful, thereby contributing to her ultimate success...yet I have not actually bought one of her books. Wait, just one. Okay, so I did contribute a bit to her coffers, but one out of ten books isn`t so bad. And I still haven`t figured out what makes the darn things so addicting either. I must research more! Oh, and I think Lestat is stupid. I much prefer the witches trilogy or her stand alone vampire books that aren`t about Lestat because he is a big dork.
I`m torn between busting a gut from laughing and just barfing. But I wouldn`t lie, dammit!
Last one, yet another quiz I don`t quite get. I should really read this books. But it says I`m evil so that`s okay.
A very rare find in this fandom, you are pure evil. Not quasi-evil, evil. You're a Death Eater, you have no conscience, you kick puppies and take candy from babies. You play the typical villain to Harry's hero. Romance usually doesn't make its way in for you, except with possibly a nice murderous Slytherin girl. What a fun existence you lead. Luckily, you're most likely going to die by the end of the fanfic anyway.
Congratulations on being the creator of a new Evil Plan (tm)!
Your objective is simple: World Domination Your motive is a little bit more complex: Evil - It's my nature
Stage One:
To begin your plan, you must first Seduce a Pope. This will cause the world to sit up and take notice, stunned by your arrival. Who is this Despoiler of all that is Good and Nice and True? Where did they come from? And why do they look so good in Classic Black?(Darling, who doesn`t look good in classic black?)
Stage Two:
Next, you will Destroy the Moon (ooh, tides!). This will cause countless hordes of Soldiers to flock to you, begging to do your every bidding. Your name will become synonymous with evil, as lesser men whisper your name in terror.
Stage Three:
Finally, you will Unleash your Plague of Doom, bringing about an End to Sanity. This will all be done from a Obsidian Citadel, an excellent choice if we might say. These three deeds will herald the end, and the citizens of this planet will have no choice but to elect you their new god.
Cower before your Dark Co-Overlord, puny mortals...Muwahahahahahahahaha!
I watched my Goonies movie. It rocked. I will find One Eyed Willie`s treasure and I will save my town from the evil land developers. Goonies never say die! Go watch it now or pay the price for your cynical folly.
Oh, I do so like being crazy. I`m not insane; I merely `view reality differently.` Excuse me now, I have to go moon-fishing.
WAIT! Before I go I must talk about KODT, the bestest comic book EVER! If you`re a gamer, or know a gamer, or have a gamer relative, or even just sat through that god awful D&D movie, or watched LOR a billion times (I haven`t seen it yet, btw, Craig), you would love KODT. It follows the gaming and real life adventures of the Knights of the Dinner Table, a small gaming group who play Hackmaster, a parody of D&D but which is now a real game. You gotta love merchandising. It is hilarious and makes fun of the gamer stereotypes. The GM is B.A.; ever harried and trying to keep his carefully constructed games from being destroyed by the likes of Brian, Dave, and Bob. Sara is the lone female (and lone responsible person) in the group; she spends most of her time gently trying to steer the gang into a true role playing mode and out of the hack and slash/let`s get e.p.s mode that the boys usually go for. And when that doesn`t work, she uses mace.
My favorite part of the whole comic is the dialogue. It is priceless. There are so many perfect quotes (great for email signatures or scrolling marquee screen savers) in the entire series. Check it out. I have a link at the bottom of the blog. Go to it now; and then through that site, find others. You won`t regret it. If you do regret it, it is because you have bovine spongiform and your brain is on the verge of collapse. That`s the only way to explain your complete lack of coolness; swiss cheese for brains! NYAH!
Now go. And remember, no Nylarthotep; know peace. Know Nylarthotep, no peace.
I have no life but it is so much more enjoyable than being an adult. I am a follower of the Peter Pan Society; give me a Tinkerbell and call me a Lost Boy. I`m gonna go fight pirates now in Never never land. Bye. (falls over from codeine overdose.)
:: 12:21 AM
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I Am Mari Celtic Goddess of Justice. I like hurting evil people and arrogant teenage guys. I also like truth and equality and am probably involved in some hopeless yet noble cause. What Celtic Goddess are You? Quiz by Aoibhell
I Am Cetnenn Celtic Goddess of War. I like combat boots and big guns and throwing annoying people into walls. What Celtic Goddess are You? Quiz by Aoibhell
Ha. And don`t you forget it either. I am the empress goddess co-overlord of the known universe! And that is enough quizzing for the day. I am getting off this computer before it sucks in my soul. Ah. Too late. Well, I didn`t need a soul anyway. Souls are for hippies.
I love this movie. I love it so much that I bought it and am having it shipped to Japan. Goonies is the quintessential childhood adventure movie; it ranks right up there with Labyrinth and The Neverending Story. Those movies were a bit out there in the fantasy genre, but Goonies is pure adventure. Not to mention that is has the cutest kids in it; who doesn`t love Data? Or pre-junkie Corey Feldman? Not to mention that a very young Josh Brolin is in it (for Jen, of course.) Goonies has pirates, slapstick comedy, deformed monsters, inhalers, fat child actors, Evil Land Developers, and a quest - making it one of the best movies of the 80s. Perhaps of all times.
Not to mention that I`m Mikey. And Mikey`s quest for the pirate treasure is similar to another boy`s quest...a boy that I love, who wears a straw hat. Did Oda-sensee ever see Goonies? I wonder.
Now on to frivolous things.
I hate boyleg underwear. And note that it is called Undies. None of this `panties` shite. I hate that word. Not as much as Mel hates that word, but it is such a stupid word. I wear underwear or unmentionables or undies. Old gross hentai men sniff panties - so I don`t have those. I have underwear.
I wonder at the free time that people have. I wonder at the free time that I have. It`s been kind of nice; this week of slacking in the Board of Education. I am learning so many important things about myself. Like what underwear I am and goonies and what not.
MAYBE THAT`S BECAUSE I WAS AT CAMP CHALLENGE, BUTTMUNCH! I am a slacker. I have perfected the art of slacking to such a degree that people think I am working when I am actually slacking. I am getting paid to slack. So `eff off, buttmunch. I invited the slack; you know nothing.
Who am I? Or who do I want to cover in whipped cream...
I`m sorry. Am I being too sick? Good. Get over it, people. (In response to others who know who they are; this is not directed at the cool ones, ie overlords in crime and master assassins.)
Hmm, I wonder what the other options are. Though the movie is pretty funny.
:: 12:14 AM
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April first, for those of us alive and awake in the Far East. It`s no joke though, that I lost the very expensive electric dictionary that the board of education gave me. Erp. I did many apologies to everyone for that little faux pas.
Cherry blossom time is here. Sakura, sakura,...no, not the stupid card captor girl. Anyway, in pursuit of the perfect cherry blossom photograph, I went up to the shrine and tried to snag a few pictures. I tried; I did not succeed. Izumo`s cute little pets were out sunny themselves and it was not in my best interest to step on a poisonous, sleepy pit viper. I made probably one of the stupidest noises in the world; I think I squeaked. I squeaked and then I ran like a little girly girl. No pictures for me this time. And I now follow a new rule; don`t go off the dirt track near the shrine. Following the road less travelled is great, but Frost never had to deal with pit vipers.
I also met Rika of Destination Paradise fame. This was supposed to be a smooth as silk transaction, but because I had massive enkais to attend (I wanna rock and roll all night and party everyday) and massive teaching obligations, I was incommunicado. Gomen, Rika. However, she found me (I was the gaijin in the bright orange Mr. t tshirt, reading the OP doujin). We had okonomiyaki and I showed her the most important site in Hiroshima, the Animate store. I hope you got a seat on the shin, Rika.
